Believe it or not, our defensive driving school has a number of students who call in and ask us how not to be a good defensive driver. Here are the steps:

Step 1: Do not use a seatbelt.

Who needs them? They don’t save lives! If anything, they tether us to these death machines called vehicles!

Step 2: Use your cell phone while driving.

Life is too short to waste any valuable phone time while you are driving. Bonus points if you can take a call, listen to your music, text your boyfriend, and/or update your Facebook / Instagram / Snapchat all at one time. You are a multi-tasking aficionado!

Step 3: Do your makeup while driving.

Life is a runway, so we all need to make sure to look pretty all the time and some days you just don’t have time to get ready in the morning, before leaving the house. Go ahead and do your makeup in the car. This is what car mirrors were made for – looking at your beautiful face and doing makeup!

Step 4: Eat food while driving.

Doing just about anything while driving is pretty amazing because multi-tasking is awesome, but eating is the absolute best because food! Bonus points if you can hold your burger in one hand and an ice cream in the other hand and you can steer the steering wheel with your knees.

Step 5: Live the Fast & Furious life.

Life is too short to get anywhere slowly! There is a reason the Fast & Furious movies were so popular. Faster is always better! Going fast gets your heart beating faster and the adrenaline going. Who cares if you got a meaty speeding ticket that only traffic school will be able to dismiss! Now, you feel so alive! That’s what YOLO is all about! Bonus points if every time somebody pulls up next to you at a red light, you propose a race down the street. A little friendly competition never hurt anybody.

Step 6: Drive the normal speed limit or faster during inclement weather.

There may be water on the road, due to heavy rain, but that doesn’t mean that you should drive slower or have to spend more of your very valuable time getting to the places that you need to go. Nobody has time to slow down. Who cares if you start to hydroplane and lose control of your vehicle! That’s all a part of living life on the edge!

Step 7: Flip off and bad mouth all the bad drivers.

Did somebody cut you off or pull in front of you and drive extreeeeemely slow? Of course, the logical thing to do is stare them down to make sure they know that you have an issue with them, blow your horn at them for about a minute or two non-stop to make sure that they are aware that they did something wrong, flip them off, and say every single curse word that you have in your repertoire. Bonus points, if you get them to pull over and proceed to get into a fist fight with them. Nothing like road rage to wake you up in the morning!

Step 8: Always tailgate the person in front of you.

There’s no such thing as being too close to the vehicle in front of you. Who cares that they might slam on their breaks at any point, causing you to rear end them.

Step 9: Never use your turn signal.

Change lanes as much as your little heart desires and never use your signal ever. Why warn other drivers about where you plan on maneuvering your giant squishable metal machine? You got to keep the rest of the drivers on their toes! Bonus points if you never look in your blind spot before changing lanes. That way other drivers can dodge you, too!

Step 10: Drive during the night time without your headlights on.

Two words: Ninja mode!

Afternote: Please be a good driver and DO NOT do anything on this list.

When it comes to defensive driving, nobody takes is more seriously than the police. These are the folks who are on the scene of every crash. They have seen the worst that can happen when a distracted driver loses control, crosses the median and slams head-on into traffic headed the other way. They measure the skid marks of drivers who carelessly exceed the speed limit, risking their own lives and the lives everyone on the road with them just so they can arrive at their destination a few seconds earlier. Worst of all, they are the ones that make the dreaded phone call to family or friends of someone who was killed in a car crash.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, motor vehicle vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for teens in the United States, accounting for a full 30 percent of all teen deaths. This statistic has not changed for several years, proving that despite efforts to turn the tide, teens are still not getting the message.

According to the California Department of Motor Vehicles, drivers between the ages of 16 and 19 have the highest annual traffic violation and crash rate regardless of being male or female. They are also more likely to have a crash when there are passengers in their car, not uncommon when one teen has a car and they want to go somewhere. In fact, they are more than three times as likely to crash when their friends on on-board than when they are driving alone.

This might be part of the reason the California Highway Patrol is offering free driver safety classes for teen drivers. There is no better time to take a California online traffic school than when you are young. Teen drivers are the most likely to be involved in traffic fatalities. They lack the experience required to make good decisions about what is safe behavior behind the wheel and what is not worth the risk.

A traffic school is a great way to help your teenage driver understand the risks inherent in getting behind the wheel of a 4,000 pound missile made of plastic and steel, and pushing down on the accelerator. It helps them understand the dangers of distracted driving; the risks of not wearing their seat belt, and the obvious ramifications of not properly following all traffic signals and safety laws.

Anyone who has a teenager at home knows the difficulties of convincing them to alter their behavior for anything. But when their life is on the line, a California traffic school seems worth every minute.

• Guidelines and steps for applying for a new California Driver’s License for teens – Read more at Applying for a New California Driver’s License (For Teens).